Posted 1 year ago on 5 May 2013 WITH 2 notes »reblog
  • Boyfriend: In this period *** is touching you too much. I know, he's our friend, but it's pretty annoying.
  • Me: Aww, cute! You are jelous! Don't worry, love: he's just effusive.
  • *Smiling sweatly* Even if the most beautiful man of the world would come just for me, I'd stay with you.
  • Boyfriend: I don't think that the most beautiful man of the world will just come for you!
  • Me: I was trying to be cute! Go fuck your self! You are deep as a puddle!
Posted 2 years ago on 3 September 2012 WITH 5 notes »reblog
  • Me: I got my driving licence!
  • Sister: WOOH-OOOH! I got the cough syrup!
  • Me: WOOOH-OOOH!
Posted 2 years ago on 13 July 2012 WITH 1 note »reblog
  • Friend: And in that cartoon blablablablabla
  • Me: ahahahaaha
  • Friend: But it's funnier than as I tell it.
  • Me: Oh, thanks God.
Posted 2 years ago on 24 June 2012 WITH 3 notes »reblog
  • A friend decides to read one of my fan fiction.
  • Me: ...well?
  • Friend: ...if you wrote erotic novels I would buy them.
  • Me: I have a future!
Posted 2 years ago on 21 June 2012 »reblog
  • Mum: This evening we will go out.
  • Me: Sorry mum, I'm tired. I really can't...
  • Ten minutes after.
  • Friend: This evening PUB. Are you---
  • Me: On my way.
Posted 2 years ago on 19 June 2012 WITH 18 notes »reblog
  • Friend: Tomorrow morning, before the exam, we could have breakfast together.
  • Me: Breakfast?
  • Friend: Yes, a coffee, a cappuccino, a croissant.
  • Me: I need something stronger.
  • Friend: Vodka?
  • Me: A gun.
Posted 2 years ago on 16 June 2012 WITH 4 notes »reblog
  • Me: Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate.
  • Friend: ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • what?
  • Me: I'm from internet, baby.
Posted 2 years ago on 16 June 2012 WITH 3 notes »reblog
  • Me: This evening I'll go out.
  • Mum: With your friends?
  • Me: No, with the Pope.
  • Mum: Don't be late.
Posted 2 years ago on 15 June 2012 WITH 1 note »reblog
  • During a dinner
  • Friend 1: I hate cutting pizza.
  • Friend 2: It's an hard work.
  • Friend 1: Think: when we will be mothers we'll have to cut pizzas to our children.
  • Friend 2: We'll also have to clean their asses.
  • Friend 1: We are eating!
  • Friend 2: We'll have to clean their fundaments.
  • Me: What a great exemple of etiquette you are.
Posted 2 years ago on 14 June 2012 WITH 4 notes »reblog
  • Mum: The lunch is ready.
  • Me: Not now. I'm reading.
  • Mum: You have to eat! Come now!
  • Me: Call me again when a salad will become more interesting than a novel.
Posted 2 years ago on 12 June 2012 WITH 4 notes »reblog
  • 12.00 p.m.
  • Me: *sends an email to the philosophy professor*
  • 12.00 a.m.
  • Me: *receives the answer*
  • Inner me: Professor, it's midnight. At this time on internet there are only maniacs, fangirls, maniac fangirls and gamers. What the hell are you doing here? This is not a safe and sane place! Go to bed now!
Posted 2 years ago on 11 June 2012 WITH 3 notes »reblog
  • Me: It's time to revise the subjects for the final exam! It will be not hard: I studied these things months ago!
  • Me: ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • What the fuck is that shit?
Posted 2 years ago on 9 June 2012 WITH 4 notes »reblog
  • Me: Would you agree to fuck mmm...Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law?
  • Friend: Oh, shit, yes!
  • Me: ...Robert Downey JR and your chemistry professor?
  • Friend: OMG that's hard...no, my professor is horrible! But maybe, if I'm drunk...ok, your turn: Robert Downey Jr and Ringo Starr.
  • Me: Bastard! Ok, I accept. But Ringo must have a plastic bag around the head. The boy you like and Martin Feldman.
  • Friend: ...fuck. Ok...I say yes...I make a handjob to Martin with the eyes closed and after that I'll have sex all the night with my love. Benedict Cumberbatch and the most horrible girl of your school.
  • Me: Nooooo! You can't do that! She seems a werewolf! ...ok, I accept. Only for Ben! Bear Grylls and Gollum.
  • Friend: Gollum doesn't exist!
  • Me: Don't argue!
  • Friend: ...no, sorry but Gollum is...bleah. Ok, your turn: Jeremy Brett and...
  • Me: Yes.
  • Friend: But I haven't...
  • Me: Yes.
  • Friend: I haven't finished!
  • Me: I don't care. Yes, in every case!
Posted 2 years ago on 9 June 2012 WITH 6 notes »reblog
  • Someone: Do you have a boyfriend?
  • Me: I have a cat. That's enough.